February 13, 2004 - 12:49 PM

Happy F'n Valentines!!

Howdy y'all! Cupid here, God-o-Lurv, filling in for Zendaddy while he goes fetal in the corner of his office. Damn. His office is HOT! And not in the nubile-fleshy way either. Zendaddy has this oh-so-cute device that measures the relative humidity and the temperature to the nth degree. It's 82.4 degrees with a relative humidity of 6.3%. yippee! Anyhow, I thought while Zendaddy's going coma on me I'd tell you some of his favorite Valentine's Day experiences. So hold on to the rail. These are doozies!

Valentine's Day 2002

He breaks up with his boyfriend Dave. They end the relationship quite amicably. Here's an excerpt I lifted from Zendaddy's other super private blog.

"Well... it happened. Tonight is the begining of the *big* discussion. The boyfriend and I are breaking up, and in a strange, bizarre twist, he initiated the end. Trust me, this is big; he never initiates anything. I was actually shocked, even though I've been preparing for it. He says he needs to be in a relationship in which the other partner is "more" into leather. Leather? Leather! I knew about the boot fetish. I put up with and went along with it even. But, you know, since it's been like 8+ months since we've had sex or any intimate anything, I was shocked. Leather? Yes, I'd seen him buying all those boots on eBay. Yes, I'd followed his history trail in internet explorer. Yes, I'd noticed he liked me in my leather go-go pants."

They ended up going out to V-Day dinner, divying up the assets, and getting drunk together. Very loving evening. Zendaddy still has a key to the house where his ex has Zendaddy's dogs and he helps to take care of them.

Valentine's Day 1991

Gets stood up then subsequently dumped by guy he's seeing. Guy's lamo excuse: "I was... ummm... on a suicide watch training and I errr... couldn't make it and forgot to, you know, like, let you know." What the ef? Who has suicide watch training? Don't you just sit there and watch the person? And holding trainings on Valentine's Day? Puuhh-leeez. Spare little old Cherub boy here. You mortals crack me up. You'd think you be spending more of those training resources to man the phone lines for all those loveless souls out there.

Anyhow, looks like Zendaddy is trying to move. Maybe I'll go mist him. He can't be weak for the possible first date he has with guy from Elmira who hasn't called back to say that they're on for their first date Valentine's Day dinner. Geez. Doesn't this guy EVER learn? Hope it goes well for him this year. I need him to quit crank calling/stalking my ass.

Got to go. That bitch Venus is calling again. Probably needs another pedicure or some cocktail sauce. Grrr. Ciao!

~ Cupid

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Where to find me now! - August 06, 2004
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Cheers to life!! - April 02, 2004
Dear Dragon Day - March 18, 2004
Re-Org - March 18, 2004

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