February 24, 2004 - 3:35 PM

Relevant?

On my way to lunch today I was stalked by a right wing worker bee and given this lovely glossy rag: RELEVANT: God. Life. Progressive Culture. Becasue the title is too long to type out everytime I've decided to just shorten it and call it RANT. When the worker bee was handing it to me I caught the title and quipped, "Gee. This will tune into my Zen Buddhist sensibilities, now won't it?" I thought she was going to rip it out of my hand there for a moment and give it to some other more deserving heathen, but at the last moment she may have thought I could be redeemed. We'll see. So I've been thinking about RANT as I read it over my soup and I've been speculating on how God. Life. And Progressive Culture fit all so nice and neat on one line. In silver inked fontage. Let's take a look beneath the cover's of the Good Book and see how it plays out. Here's my ("humble") opinions:

- Has Kobe Found God? Or is the talk just a stunt to clean up his image? My quick skimming of the article says that God won't have his [yet to be proven] raping ass back.

- On the same page is The REAL Ten Commandments Revealed!. Some are obvious like: #1 "Do not worship any other god." Others are completely ridiculous. #5 is "The first offspring of every womb belongs to me." I'm assuming 'me' is God 'coz I don't want all those kids. How controlling of Him. And totally right wing male piggish. #10 is "Bring the best of the firstfruits [sic?] of your soil to the house of the LORD your God. Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk." Eww. I concur about the recipe tip (won't be making it anyhow for the non-right wing, unXtian gay male vegetarian dinner date), but really isn't that two commandments. Not sure how your firstfruits [sic?] relate to cooking young goat in milk and if God is non-corporial does he even need to eat? How about all those starving people in the world the His missionaries are trying to save? Maybe it has something to do with how Martha Stewart would cook it. Not sure.

- My favorite "newsworthy" blurb in the RANT is Liquid Legs. An excerpt: "The latest in Japanese schoolgirl fashion trends (because we all want to be like Japanese schoolgirls): spray-on hosiery. That's right. The liquid stockings, which are fine grain silk, come in three flesh tones: terra cotta, natural and bronze." Ok. I can understand wanting to be like a Japanese schoolgirl... 'coz, they RAWK! But hey... who has "terra cotta" skin tone? Certainly a product for an exclusive "club". hmmm.... Speaking of clubs.

- Christian Clubbing: Get Your Jesus Freak On! Maybe Freakamuffins should check this out? But really... no drinking, smoking, or drugging in a club. Isn't that the anti-club? Uh oh... I'm feeling a bit hot under the collar (and not the preachy kind of collar).

There's much, much more in RANT but I can't go into much more for fear of going coma other than this final "exhaustive" report on Hope for Life Beyond Depression and how it affects your spirituality and your good Godly lifestyle. I'll paraphrase: Sadness not OK. God OK. Prayer can help to get you out of your funk. Drugs may. Or may not. God + Sad + Good Drugs + Prayer = Happy Spiritual Life. Although I'm a non-medicated, chronically depressed zen heathen so I may have missed the point. Sadly I'll stay sad if it means keeping my own beliefs in tact, thank you.

Come the Rapture I'm burning in Hell. Proudly.

~zen daddy

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Where to find me now! - August 06, 2004
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Cheers to life!! - April 02, 2004
Dear Dragon Day - March 18, 2004
Re-Org - March 18, 2004

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