June 26, 2003 - 6:32 PM

Howdy Folks!

As many of you know I've had a very interesting and stressful past couple of days. I'd thought I'd share with you all how it came about and what I've learned from this whole experience. This is long but well worth the read. I mean, really, you have to admit after this all it's very, very funny and it'll be one of those great stories to tell the generations that follow me -- and to embarrass certain members of my family. :-)

Grandma Jones has back surgery on Friday and Aunt S. decides to stay with her. On Monday evening Grandma passes out, regains consciousness, and complains of chest pains. Aunt S. calls paramedics. So Grandma Jones dies in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, but -- remember this crucial detail -- is revived a few minutes later. Aunt S. is with her during all this. Aunt S. calls Aunt A. to tell her in nearly these exact words: "Mom fell down and may have had a heart attack. She died on the way to the hospital but they were able to revive her. Looks like she's going to be OK..."

Aunt A. freaks. Stopped listening to Aunt S. after " she died" and goes into super daughter mode and begins the phone tree of death. Not kidding. This is the first time I've heard of it myself, but evidently my family has a "phone tree" in the event of someone's passing. This is where I'm dragged into the drama. I'm called and told that Grandma had died. I'm upset but thankful that they actually remembered to call me this time. Yes. It's happened that my family has forgotten to call me to let me know that someone has died in the family. I come from a family where they are either super flaky or super organized. In this case, they spanned both ends of the spectrum and ricochetted back to an even further extreme.

After a rather emotional Tuesday evening I make plans to go home the following day and see into things and comfort my family. Wednesday: I can not find any member of my family. Anywhere. Strange. You'd think that they'd be home or tracking down other members of the family to let them know. At this point I'm subjected to finally going to see my father. [Back side story to my past: I haven't spoken to my father in over a year and a half and a total of like three times in all of five years. Grandma Jones has been desperately trying to get me to reconcile with my father.] It's about 1:00 pm. I walk into Dad's house, ask him to put his beer down and give him a hug and ask him how it's going. Here is the paraphrased dialog that ensues:

Me: How are you doing, dad?

Dad: Oh. I'm fine. Yourself?

Me: Well... I'm... uh... a bit upset as you may well know.

Dad: Oh. What's wrong?

Me: (Unh?! What's wrong?) Uh... dad. Grandma died.

Dad: (Looking at his estranged son like I just announced my pregnancy.) Oh... did it just happen then? No one's told me!

Me: Dad, it happened Monday night.

Dad: Oh no. I just saw her last night at the hospital.

Me: (He's in TOTAL DENIAL.) No dad, Aunt A. called mom and me and said she died Monday night.

Dad: No. I just saw her.

Enter step mom.

Step Mom: Hi Davey. It's been soooo long. I loooove the goatee. Very cute.

Me: (Sigh.) Hi Jet. (Don't ask.) I think dad is in denial about Grandma's death.

Step Mom: Oh my God! Oh No! She died this morning?!

Me: (What? Are they BOTH crazy?) What? No. She died Monday night.

Step Mom: Oh no. (Sweepingly pointing at my Dad.) We just visited her last night in the hospital.

Me: (Stunned.) Ok. I'll be back.

I walk outside and call my mom. "Mom. Give me Aunt A.'s phone number." Get Aunt A.'s phone number at work. I call Aunt A.

Me: Hi. Can I speak with Aunt A. (using her full name)

Aunt A: This is A.

Me: Hi Aunt A. This is your nephew Davey. Is Grandma dead?

Aunt A: (Sheepishly.) Oh. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm. No.

Me: Did someone forget to do something, like say, call me back?!

Aunt A: Oh how embarrassing. I'm so sorry.... blah, blah, blah.

Anyhow, I call Mom back. Cancel the flowers. (The florist says it's not a problem; this happens all the time. Really? Wow.) I go and tell Dad and Jet the goings on. Dad and I catch up on things and actually talk about us as a family and our patchy relationship we've had over the past few years. We begin the process of reconciliation. Grandma is happy that I'm finally talking with my Dad again.

Out of all of this has come some wonderful illuminations and reflections about life that I want to share with you all. It is seldom in life that we get a second chance to go back and make corrections in our lives. We have heard these things said before, but I realize now after being through this, it truly is something to consider:

- Don't hold grudges. Forgive. Let the past be the past and move on with life. It's not worth the energy to be bitter or jealous or cruel. Ever.

- Enjoy every moment. Cherish every splendor.

- Tell those people who are special to you that you love them. You never know when you'll see them again, if ever.

- My family is conspiring to make me insane.

I hope you all have enjoyed my little recounting of my "incident". I want to thank you all for being supportive and understanding. It has meant a lot to me. Don't laugh at me too much over the next few days. :-) You all have a great day!

All my best,

David

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Where to find me now! - August 06, 2004
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Cheers to life!! - April 02, 2004
Dear Dragon Day - March 18, 2004
Re-Org - March 18, 2004

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