February 03, 2004 - 12:14 AM

[ mood | bouncy ]

[ music | Erasure: Oh L'Amour! ]

So I was just interviewed by a Department of Defense-Bot. My superhuman student worker is applying for an information sensitive position at the DOD. This kid is more stable and together than half the people in this department. And in the government apparently.

[Shuffle. Shuffle through ratty canvas "brief case". Can't find government sanctioned official ID. Shuffle.]

DOD-Bot: Hold on... I'm looking for my ID. [Shuffle. Shuffle.] Oh.... hmmm.... [Shuffle. Paw. Paw.] Here it is! [Hands it to me.]

Me: Thanks. Wow! Just like on the X-Files.

DOD-Bot: Yes. They were very authentic on that show. [Said with a hint of sarcasm and disgust.]

Me: Please have a seat here [in my not at all private office space.]

DOD-Bot: [Shuffle. Paw. Paw. Scrape through that damn fugly bag.]

Me: [Pause.]

DOD-Bot: Hmmm... I can't find my pen. Where's my pen?

Me: [What the ef!? This guy is securing our American future?] Would you like to borrow my pen?

DOD-Bot: No... I'll find mine. [Gorge. Scrape. Paw.] Ok. I have it. Blah... blah...blah...

Very surreal interview. He was here for like 15 minutes but asked all these questions where it was evident that they had not only done a thorough background check on the student, but also on us interviewees. Weird. And disturbing. This guy had all my vitals: driver's license ID #, SS #, my last 4 addresses and phone numbers, my blood type (A positive you need to know). Like, why do they need to know my blood type? If the kid doesn't pass muster do I have to donate organs or something?

* * *

Had a good weekend. Went out (naturally) Friday and Saturday nights to Cha-Cha's. Saw some old friends. Made some new ones. Then actually saw part of the Super Bowl on Sunday. Saw it while hanging out at Bistro Q with the ex -- who was bartending -- and the 4 other people in the restaurant. Very dead night. Anyhow, watching this football game (maybe the second time in my life that I watched football) made me want to be a cheerleader. At one point they showed the defense line backers or whatev from behind and I blurted out how hot their asses were. That has nothing to do with why I want to be a cheerleader. I guess I just want to get paid mucho $$ to bounce around and scream. I'm so gay.

Anyhow, I didn't see the whole Super Bowl game. Who won? And I'm soo excited about Celebrity Survivor. Yippee! I hope Richard Hatch wins again. He's sooo "studly" being all naked-y all the time. Great strategy to stun your opponents by flopping all about. hee.

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Where to find me now! - August 06, 2004
- - May 27, 2004
Cheers to life!! - April 02, 2004
Dear Dragon Day - March 18, 2004
Re-Org - March 18, 2004

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