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2001-08-01 - 11:15 p.m. Still Breathing Davey Louis Jones Daddy lifted me from the floor. My rigid, rocking body melting in his pleated arms. He lay me onto the sea foam. I sifted into the algae - a wet dream poultice - knowing that something still loved me. At this moment I understood that living would be a difficult life-task. My body and mind reverberated from the ploughshare blows dealt me in this earth-consciousness. It all interested me, this intensity of primordial, hereditary self-memory. No one had been here before at this single moment in time and in my body. I overcame the fear - daddy, time, body memory - and ceased the rocking. I unfurled my frame and let it float gently on the swelling, waving bilateral surfaces. Each shaved and angled facet turning me to look at a new self-visage. I looked up and Daddy looked down. He talked of apology and changing his ways and mannerisms. I sensed it laying beneath his breath, under his Gaelic-pale skin and then I dived. I kinked from the water�s depth and let my lung-air out. I continued to flipper and stretched my hands towards it, amused and curious to what it was. I pulled it near my beating heart, my pulsed lungs and saw what it was for really: A delusion. I chewed the delusion all up and swallowing it down hoped to digest and excrete it away from the two of us at a time when I could honestly repulse it to far, unheard-of places - in the lungs. The weight of it dragged me below the surfaces into a viscous dimness. I had managed a shallow gasp before the feathery plummet. I curled my knees close to my breath center and wrapped my slender, acutely angled twigs to my shins. This drew streams of bubbles behind me in a quickened shimmering staccato. The ache of the weighty water and the chest stabbing skewers of pain and the deadened sense of the tummy was a bit much at the time for I� Black-out� [. . .a dimmed dream sandwiched between twilight-mares. . .] Somewhere someone poured tepid tea on my brow and dripped it along over my mouth, chin, chest and abdomen. The dribble turned to a steady downpour and the rest of the tea stippled my stomach. There was much sugar in the tea and it left a stickiness on my torso. This crystallized into the colour of sugar-semen-sea foam. I look above me to see a delicate, ochre sea horse being still and solemn and pious over me. The sea horse�s tail had a firm hold of a three-handled porcelain urn in which the urn�s body tapered to a rounded point. Looking around and beyond I saw how empty this alcoved area was, and sensed that even beyond my narrow sight that we two were the only entities inhabiting all the water spaces and oceans. Abruptly the sea horse heaved and churned internally and its slender snout eked shrill, pained screams. From a narrow slit in the sea horse miniature foetal sea horse bodies spurted out, one at a time. During this the urn loosened from the sea horse�s grip and fell silently to the earth among newly sprouting kelp and baltic pebbles. I rose and held the sea horse from behind gently cuddling it by its neck. After awhile the sea horse relaxed and ceased to vomit out the still-births. It settled down into the peach colour sand and curled its tail and head into precious, spiraling coils. There and then amid the emptied oceans the poor sea horse wept. I awoke next to the sleeping form of Daddy. We had both drifted into slumber and became entwined in the covers. It was dark outside and the blackness wafted in through the open window. The sill and casing were a dark beige-brown belying the off-whiteness you would perceive it in the daylight. Daddy snored a soft wheeze and whoozle. I crawled from under the covers spilling out on the frigid linoleum flooring. At first I lay sprawled in the sightless darkness among stuffed animals and anonymous plastic toys waiting. The rocking un-thinking phenomena did not happen and I gladly and stealthily crawled nearer to the window. The Mickey Mouse curtains were pulled apart and bunched to either side. I stood up and looked outside. The moon hid itself and the world apart from me was cloaked in eerie silhouette and shadow. The eggplant purple sky lifted and lifted. A temple roofing to our nomadic, barbaric principles. All the houses and trees and things seemed to be soggy and squashy. And so very slowly the ocean bubbled up from the sewers and the lawns and the windows and the land was covered underneath the viscous swellings. A choking moment swiftly passed and I floated easily. I reached both of my hands down and released the latches to the screen. It popped apart from the casing and drifted into a barnacled recess. With one sure movement I push-dived up and through the opened window. Flipping and swimming gently out into the nighttime ocean I played with my brothers � not a one who was born yet. Then from above and away a strong, diffused light poured in a shaped cone from a point in the distance. There was the sea horse raised up on a pedestal of coral and shell. Floating in a halo around him were his dead children. His weeping had stopped and with stern eyes he beheld my staring eyes and withered form. From then on I knew that my life was not meant to be a delusion, but a tribute to itself. Breaking from the sea horses hypnotic eye-grip I swam deep, deep into the still ocean and every swaying bellow of water left in my wake a new ocean creature asexually birthed into existence. I swam for some time before I stopped and looked at what I left behind. I smiled to see that I was a creating god. There and then amid the full and teaming seas and oceans the poor sea horse and I wept, but still breathing. THE END
Copyright 2001 by Davey Louis Jones. All rights reserved. <<< Past Lives | Future Kharmas >>> Where to find me now! - August 06, 2004 the-Insight.com - spirituality/dreams
� 2003 by Davey. All rights reserved. No stealing or bad kharma will come your way! |
